I am not a scientist, doctor or head shrink nor do I play one on television but what I do know comes from years of experience and as many years of observation. Does not mean that this will be true for everyone but it will be so close that you may think it true.
How will your child act? Your child will have all of the mannerisms that you had or have at the time of inception. I had this unknown habit of sticking my tongue out when I was working on something and didn’t really notice it until my fiancée pointed it out to me. I must have developed it some time after my oldest son was born because he was not seen doing it but the two youngest really has it bad. I watch them when they really get engrossed in whatever they are doing and without fail here comes the tongue. This but one of the many examples that I am being shown by my children.
Ever wonder how other people can watch your kids for a few minutes and point out everything that reminds them of you? My fiancée can be easily stressed and to my dismay, so are my children. They seem to take everything so personal and the more I attempt to work with them about this, it seems to not work out. I later learned that even though I would really like to blame this action strictly on my fiancée, I can not. I have discovered, through watching them, that I too take some things personally as well. Not as much as she does but enough to add to the degree of that of the kids.
There is certain phase that kids go through that is standard for all kids, I believe but exactly how they deal with each is unique unto themselves. That’s where one can hold up a mirror to the parent. Some inherited traits are okay for them to keep and maintain but there are some which you may not wish that they retain. To change or modify that behavior, constant reminders may work and is much better than any of the others that some may choose. Many say that DNA can not be changed and they may be right but I know that some inherited traits and learned behavior can be.
Before contemplating having children, I suggest that you take a strong look at who you are and who the person is that you are thinking about having a child with and ask yourself if you are content with the people you have just investigated. Having a criminal record does not mean that your children will have them but how it came to be is. If there is an inner anger with no outlet except violence, then this may be passed on to your child. Some things are insurmountable and when those things are encountered, they are better worked out in the long run with the children. Some things may be hidden and not discovered until the child presents them and those also are better worked out. I have seen more of myself in my children than I had ever thought and I have seen more of other parents in their kids as well. Taking a few minutes each day to watch them while they sleep and while they are engaged in activities allows me to learn even more about myself than I ever thought possible.
Watching my kids as they go about their normal routines has helped me tremendously deal with people and my day to day conflicts. They have given me an insight that I didn’t know existed. While this works quite well for me, I can not promise that it will work for you but it is well worth a try.