Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, except a Progressive louse.
Promising health care, despite my scream “No!”
They insist I must have it, I say “they should go.”
Their victims all snuggled and fearing in their beds
The unwanted present from these usurpers, the Reds!
Mom in her Snuggie and I in my briefs
Hiding under the blankets from these sorry old creeps.
Down in DC there rose such a clatter
It’s sickening to listen to all the ignorant chatter.
Away from the buttheads I flew like a flash
To slam down the window and locked down the sash.
The moon on the breast of a new fallen snow
Plugging my fingers in my ears I beg them “please go!”
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
A Pelosi/Reid Congress to leave me in fear!
The head of the cabal, a fine talking chap
I knew in a moment I did not like this new rap.
More speedy then vermin his sycophants came
He smiled and hollered for each one by name.
Nancy, Harry and Barney Frank too
Can’t forget Ben Nelson or Mary Landrieu,
Chris Dodd, Bernie Sanders and so many more
Selling out the nation, like a two dollar whore.
Laughing as they line up to deliver the big screw,
We waited in fear to see what they would do.
Christmas Eve Morn was our last day
Free Americans, ya know, the traditional way.
But it’s a fait accompli, as we all knew.
They were determined and sure at what they must do.
“Health care for all, we don’t care what you say
It’ll be a Progressive Christmas on this very fine day!”
With nary a concern for me and you
Obama and his pals set out to ruin the stew.
No carrots, no onions, no tater’s, no peas
Just a national ripoff they’ll shovel down me.
To install Socialism, that disease ridden thing
By telling us they helped us with this health care refrain.
I screamed like a madman, but no one would hear
They deny my First Amendment, because they live in fear.
With a wink and a smile and a twist if his head
“Ole America is gone, it will soon be quite dead.”
Pleased they all were, a smile they shone through
Their smug expressions of victory full of scorn for me and you.
Progressives ran grinning from the scene of the crime
Bodies broken and mangled, from now ’til all time.
A great health system, tho flawed it may be
Has been wrought asunder for their pleasure to be.
The foundation laid, their plans we’ll soon see
They have things in store for this nation – oh dear me!
No repealing bad reform Harry Reid has assured
“Destroying capitalism” was the only refrain heard.
Scurry you vermin back from where you came
Leave us alone never to utter your names.
“It’s freedom we wanted” in unison we proclaim
But them smart Progressives see fit only to defame.
“Red State idiot” was a favorite claim
Of the jerk wads in DC, they’ve given us a new name.
“Obtuse and Redneck” they tossed out with glee
Cause “hopey change,” it was not for me!
As Christmas Eve waned, the Sun getting low
Their ruination complete, it was now time to go.
They abandon DC like an amok plague anew
At the nation they grinned as we tolerated the screw.
When their work was done, the seeds of misery sown
They headed toward Air Farce One for the trip home.
By way of Honolulu Obama and family would go
Leaving the nation with coal in our stockings, ya know!
He sprang to his SUV limo, the Progressives in tow
Their work here was done, it was now time to go.
But I heard them exclaim as they motorcaded out of sight
“Screwed ya in 2009, can’t wait for 2010, goodnight!”