With this relationship I tried something different. Normally, I’m the laid back type of girl. I let the guy come to me. But with this guy… it was something about him I liked. He really was different from any guy I had ever talked to. He had a kind of bad-boy quality. I was in a new city, and I wanted a change. I wanted to stop playing safe and being shy all my life.
I met him through a friend. Corey, was his name. At first, I hated Corey with a passion. He was too quiet and it seemed like he was up to something. Friends explained to me later that he was shy and it took a while before he warmed up to people.
I just moved into my own apartment and the “free-loaders” have already started to swarm. Another guy named Joseph came over. He also was a friend of a friend. He said that he had just broke up with his girl and she put him out.
So, me with my big heart… I told him that he could stay for a couple days. And that turned into about a month and a half. I was fed up and wanted him gone. His girl must have put him out, because he was a such a slob and a free loader. Not a good combo.
I just started a job and I’m coming home to a messy house. Joe would cook and leave the kitchen a mess. He wanted to stay out late and come back to my house drunk and loud. I had to get up for work early.
One night I told him, “You go out and don’t get back before I go to bed, then you will have to find some place else to lay your head.” That very night, he went out. At about 1 or 2 o’clock in the morning, I hear a banging at the door. I had to be up at 6:30 am for work. I was upset. I let him knock. Someone called the police (smile). The police escorted him off the property.
My friend’s son, David and Corey came for a visit the next day. Corey told me that Joe planned to steal my check when I came home on payday. OMG! How could people who you try to help want to hurt you? “Good,” I thought, “I put him out a week before payday.”
Corey and I started talking. He was cool. He grew on me. He told me about his past. We had both been through a lot. He had two children and their mother had lost them to CPS. Corey was trying to get his life together, so he could get his children back. My heart melted.
We started hanging out together more. I told him that I liked him and he would be mine, if it was the last thing I do. He laughed, but I was dead serious.
During that time, I suffered a loss. My mom passed away. I was floored. He was there for me the whole time. Even when I got back. About two months later he moved in with me. I was spoiled rotten. I came home and the house was clean. He cooked dinner and we ate together. I felt like we were on the road to a very promising future.
We shopped and spent almost every waking moment together. I felt like I was falling in love. We talked about a lot of things. I never thought to ask what the extent of our relationship was. He was with me. Even when he went out, he came home to me every night.
I thought we were exclusive. But, oh, how wrong I was. He told one of my good friends, him and I were just friends. My heart dropped. I felt like the world was crumbling down around me. How could I be so stupid, again. I got so caught up in my own little world. I didn’t take the time to get a real understanding. I jumped in head first and got my bubble bursted.
We talked and he told me that he really didn’t want a relationship with me. He said I was cool and he cared about me. “Cared about me?!” I was head over heals about him, and he cared about me?
We had made such a serious move as living together, sleeping together, making future plans to try and get his kids back. We were in a serious relationship! I was hurt. I felt like I had wasted my time and my energy loving and caring for this man.
I had turned down all kinds of guys and stayed at home with him. I could have been out having fun with my friends. We had even talked about him coming home with me. So, he could meet my family. He never said one word about us not being together.
I didn’t do like most people would do after they break up with some. I didn’t kick him out. I told him that he had time to find him a place to go. I started doing me. I started going out and talking to new people.
I met a new guy and it was an awkward situation. I was starting a new relationship, but it didn’t seem like the old one was trying to move on. Corey started staying at home more and doing things that couples normally do He had me so confused. I ended up having to ask him to leave. It was one of the hardest things that I have ever had to do. We really didn’t fight or argue. I just knew that there was no future for us.
Me and Corey started to get back into the same old routine. He would come over and spend the night from time to time. I even went to spend the night with him. I even met some of his family. It was like, he was at least trying to make things right.
Corey told me that the reason that he did not want to get in a serious relationship with me, was because I reminded him too much of his mother. It scared him, because he and his mother had a rocky relationship. Corey said he felt more like her protector than her son.
I ended up losing my job and needed to find a roommate to help with some of the bills. My friend Carl told me that his girlfriend Betsy and her daughter Tonya needed a place to live. I invited them over and cooked dinner. As we sat and talked, I noticed that Tonya was giving me funny looks. I tried not to pay attention, but my gut told me something else was going on.
Corey called and I told him to come on over and have dinner. The look on his face said a thousand words. Busted! He was dating Tonya. I think that Carl set up the whole thing for me to find out. Tonya left the house, while Corey and I went to my bedroom and talked. He said he didn’t tell me, because he didn’t want me to start tripping.
I told him that I wanted him out of my house and never come back. I was sick of being used. I went and opened my front door and told him to get out. He just stood there and looked at me. I raised my voice and told him, I want you to leave now.
The next thing you know, I’m in Betsy’s lap and Corey was on top of me choking me. I slid to the floor to get out of Betsy’s lap. She started screaming for help. He had such a strong hold on me that I started blacking out.
I couldn’t believe it. He said that he would never put his hands on me… never hurt me. I blacked out. When I came to, Betsey and Carl were standing over me calling my name.
All that I had been through with him and he treated me like a total stranger. I was mad as hell. I got up from the floor and went to the kitchen. I got a knife and went to the front door. Betsy and Carl were standing in front of the door, telling me it wasn’t worth it.
I did a football players turn and ran past them and found Corey standing at his car. He was my target. I wanted to make him pay for how he made me feel. I had been in an abusive relationship before and he knew it. He put his hands on me and he had made a promise never to put me through that. I was on the second set of steps before they caught me. I begged them to let me go. Betsy kept telling me that it wasn’t worth it. “Just let it go!”
The police came and took statements. I had nightmares about it for weeks. Corey was locked up for a couple days. His family and friends tried to keep me from going to court, by saying that he would stay away from me and how sorry he was.
I found out from Carl that he did the same thing to another girl that he was seeing a week earlier and she was pregnant. I was so confused. Do I go to court and possibly ruin his life? Or do I not go and run the risk of him doing this to someone else and really hurting them. Or even worse… kill them.
I made my decision. I went to court. Corey gotten out of jail a couple days later and came to my house. Why would he think it was okay to come to my house, after what happened? He told me that he was sorry and tried to convince me not to go to court.
I just wanted him to leave. He respected my wishes and left. I went to court and he didn’t even show. I picked up the pieces of my life and moved on. I found out about a month or two later that he had been picked up for choking another girl. She was okay, but when the police arrived they found out he had a warrant for choking me and he went to jail.
When a man puts his hands on you, it is not right. If he did it once, then he will do it again. I don’t condone violence for violence. I lost my head, when I got that knife. I will never do anything like that again. Now, that I am in a better place in my life. Never let someone take you to the point where you do things that you will regret.
Never allow someone you love, or anyone else for that matter, put their hands on you.
