When a baby first arrives, he or she has yet to develop language skills. They use crying as a means of communication. As a parent, you may even be able to distinguish the meaning of different cries from your infant. An infants cry is effective. Through crying, infants are able to get a clean diaper, milk, and attention. This teaches the infant that crying yields results. This is a lesson that they take with them as they grow.
We as parents expect that as children develop language skills, they will let go of the crying. This does happen; but not necessarily when we would like. As toddlers and young children learn to speak, they also often still use crying. Only tantrums children throw change the reasons for which the crying is used. In toddler years they have the same language skills with which we communicate. However, when simply asking for what they want doesn’t work, they quickly remember that crying does work. Tantrums children throw are merely an exhibit of what they know to work in order to accomplish a desired result. Nonetheless, tantrums children throw should not be tolerated. It is the parents responsibility to teach their children new forms of communication and that they will not always get their way.
The first thing is to know when faced with tantrums children throw is why the child is throwing the tantrum. Whatever the result they hope to accomplish through the tantrum, don’t give them that. Giving in to the tantrums children throw only reinforces the thought that throwing a tantrum works. They will only continue with the very behavior you wish to end. Furthermore, tantrums children throw get worse as they get older. As they age, they get louder, more defiant and persistent, and even violent if nothing is done to end such behavior early.
Once you have stood your ground and refused to give in to the tantrums children throw you must remain calm. Yelling at your child, especially when in public, is only an adult form of the same behavior they are displaying. They object is to end the tantrums children throw. Teach your child that yelling, screaming, or crying is inappropriate behavior to get what you want. No matter what words you use with your child, he or she will follow the actions you show him or her. If you are yelling, it will be almost impossible to teach them that the proper way to handle problems is to remain calm and talk them out. Therefore, you must remain calm.
Stand there and watch your child as he or she throws their tantrum. They will soon become tired. When they give up, you should ask them very calmly, “Are you done yet?”. Now, this will sometimes frustrate your child and cause them to start up again. If this happens you simply say “No. Okay then. You let me know when you’re done.”. When the tantrum is over you reinforce your decision which lead to the tantrum in the first place. Though they will have seen that throwing the tantrum didn’t work, you need to reinforce it with words. Tell them “When I said no I meant it! The answer is still no! That performance of yours will not work, is unacceptable, and next time you try it I will leave you right there.” Say these things or some variation of them in a very calm but stern voice and look your child straight in the eyes.
Next, when dealing with tantrums children throw, you should then explain to them why you have said no. It is important to explain to your child why you make the decisions you do. “Because I said so”, or “Because I’m the parent”, is as unacceptable as the tantrums children throw. Your child will be much more inclined to obey you if you provide them with reasons for your decisions. Forcing your child to obey without reason, or not allowing them to question you, only takes that inquisitive characteristic from them in other areas in life. You should be sure not to mold your child into the type of person who believes or follows everything they’re told. You want your child to question rules, authority, or anything else they don’t understand or agree with. Furthermore, you don’t want your child to develop the idea that they don’t need reason behind their own actions or decisions. This is exactly what the “Because I said so” approach teaches children. Handling tantrums children throw in the appropriate manner will not only put an end to the tantrums, but also teach them other important lessons.