The Pew Research Center has done conducted another survey and once again they done left me out. This survey they called : “Pew Research Center’s News IQ Quiz”.
But I could have answered the questions as I am a very smart perosn, I mean peerson ..oh heck – I am smart peeple.
For instance The Pew Survey wanted to know what a filibuster were. Hello, I got me a GED because I slipped Principal Sloan a few quarts of moonshine, but I knew what a filibuster were, except we call them bronco busters out here. A fili is a female horse and a filibuster is a cowboy who does train the horse.
The Pew Survey also wanted to know what the unemployment rate was. Heck I ain’t got a job, neither does Bubba or Jethro, and my sister, Sue Bob, pumps gas at Al’s restaurant , service station, motel and spa. So if all my kin is out of work, ‘cepting Sue Bob, that sounds like a high unemployment rate to me, so my answer is the unemployment rate is HIGH.
Or as my daddy used to say, a recession is when your neighbor loses his job, a depression is when you lose yours. I knowed that when I lost my job picking up road kill for the county , I were depressed for weeks. It weren’t the lost of the job that riled me, it were the lost of all that free food.
The Pew Center also wanted to know how many women are serving on the Supreme Court. Well holycow manure, as my daddy likes to say, he don’t believe in cussing. Heck I could mosey over to that there Supreme Court and look at them judges and count all the women. Can’t be more than 20 or 30. I mean, why ask people a silly question like that – just wander over and count them.
They also asked a question about the stock market – how high is Dow Jones? Well, first of all it depends what Mr. Jones were smoking to get high, And I admit I might could slip up on that one, as the only stock we gots is Old Bessie the cow and come Monday, if things don’t take a turn upwards, we’re fixing to turn Bessie into supper. Unless we find us a skunk that has ain’t been smashed too bad by a car. You can always tell when them skunks get hit by a Semi. The guts are done squished out of them and splattered against a tree.
The News Quiz also asked who were the Head of The Republican Party and I was right on that one. I just said ” Them politicans always steel” and dang if I wasn’t right. A fella by the name of Steele is head of the Republicans. I don’t know, but if my last name was Steele and I were a politician, I might change my name.
Well, I ain’t got a cell phone, but Al’s has a public phone and I just might send those Pew Research folks Al’s number and might could be picked for the next survey. As, I said, I am smart peeple.