Is cheating ever justified?
Right so the question is that of cheating, and is there ever a reason why it can be justified. Well you know there are always two sides of the coin to every argument. Depending on how you look at something you will see it differently. But really the fact that you have headed out and cheated on that one you love, well can you ever really convince yourself that it was okay to do.
Perhaps you were in a marriage that was loveless? One that you never received the attention that you felt you should? Or maybe your spouse was cheating and you felt that it was fine if you did the same thing? There can be so many arguments that people will bring up when they want to feel better, right?
So trying to look at it from both sides I sat down to think of this question and see it from a different light. Not the side of the jilted spouse who had their husband leaves them for their lover. But from the side of the person who felt they had to cheat to find the love or sex they were missing.
First off if you were in a marriage where you felt unloved, wouldn’t you just get out of it? You would think that would be better than heading out and finding another person. After all if you make a connection with that lover, will you not eventually or possibly be getting a divorce anyway? So why not just get the divorce first and then go looking for another person?
It doesn’t seem like that would be a good argument to why you thought it was okay to head out and cheat. So that would be one of those reasons down to the “no” side of the argument, it was not justified.
So what about lack of sex in your marriage, but you still love the person? We have all heard the saying that sex isn’t everything, and it shouldn’t be the “be all” in your relationship either. If you are lacking in sex, find ways that you can get the satisfaction without heading out and finding another person. Love should be enough to keep you in that marriage, talk about the lack of sex, and you may find out there is a reason behind it.
Though there are some instances where a reason could be unjustified, and yes I do have an example for this too. As a young woman I found myself in a marriage at the age of 19, way too young. Well the marriage wasn’t the best of any out there, and the sex was very lacking. But I was raised to work hard to make a marriage work and last, so I talked to my spouse at that time.
His reasoning was that he thought I was overweight and if I lost some he would make love to me more often. Okay in some instances this would work fine, because I can see the point. But I was only 130 pounds and stand 5′ 4″ so I wasn’t grossly overweight. I was in the service and not in bad shape at all either.
But I tried to lose weight to please him, and got down to 120, but that still wasn’t enough. Now the methods I used to lose the weight were not the best either. I found myself beginning to eat and purge to lose more weight. Not only was I striving to make him more interested in me, but I was being detrimental to my own health.
When another male noticed me and began to pay me attention, well I took the bait. Not at first I did try and fight for the good, and not cheat. But eventually I lost that battle and found comfort or actually sex in another’s arms.
Now was I justified to cheat in that situation? I would love to say I was, but the fact was I should have most likely gotten a divorce first and moved on. But after all we all do fall once in a while, and I am no saint.
In the long run the marriage lasted a total of two years, of which I was faithful for about a year and a half. But it doesn’t really answer the overall question about cheating and whether it can be justified. Because no matter how much you look into it, there will be people who find a good reason they feel they were fine to cheat.
The question will be to you as the person who cheated or the one who was cheated on. Do you want to stay in this relationship, or move on?