Why is it that we try to improve on things that need no tweaking whatsoever? I live and die by the old saying “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”. I wish others would follow suit.
Don’t misunderstand. I’m all for progress, but please tell me why someone felt the need to put Velcro on kid’s sneakers. Old people probably bless this guy or gal that came up with this one. I know I do, because I don’t have to expand my lungs to full capacity just to bend over to tie my sneaker, and then blackout. But since when does a kid have that problem?
We’ve got a ten year old that can’t tie his shoes to stay secure longer than two minutes. I threaten him, bribe him, and ridicule him, saying he’ll look like a dork when his mommy has to run out on the basketball court to tie his sneaker. Does he care? Nope. He told me they make Velcro basketball sneakers. Thanks to this fix, we’re raising a generation who can’t tie their shoes.
I like the old remotes. They had the on-off button, volume, and channel changers. What more could anyone ask for? Well, sixty one buttons, I guess. This is nuts. You can tell by looking at the remote that no one needs sixty one buttons. Most have never been touched by dirty or sticky fingers. Do you know what the only overused button on the remote is? Yep, the channel changer. I hit something by mistake the other day and I had to call the cable company to get things back to normal. Could ya just put my remote back the way it was, Mr. Fixit?
My car dashboard looks like the NASA shuttle motherboard. There are dozens of helpful little pictures and blinking lights explaining the function of each button, but just try to get your favorite song on a CD to repeat. They took away my cigarette lighter and gave me an extra plug for my phone. I already have one, mind you, but I guess they figure I need two I don’t need to charge my phone that often because I don’t turn it on. don’t want to drain the battery should I need it for an emergency. Have you seen all those horror movies where the dumb blond tries to call for help and her phone is dead? Not this chickie. The nephew says if I was the last person on earth, I’d have a full charge and no one to talk to. He’s so funny.
What’s with the new lighters? It is impossible to buy the blow torches of yesteryear, or one that you don’t need a Harvard degree to operate. Stop fixing them! Childproof, my big fat butt. Kids can get into anything. Can’t get your oxycodone open? Ask a six year old. Want to hack into the Pentagon? Don’t go to the senior center. Try the arcade. Feel the need to break into your neighbor’s house and steal back your skill saw? Grab a kid out of day care for an hour or two.
Another huge pet peeve is “The Star Spangled Banner”. Ever since Jose Feliciano took a few liberties with this song, every warbling weepy eyed diva and gravelly voiced rapper has taken our National Anthem to the cleaners. News Flash! It ain’t broke! I heard one rendition on the radio this morning that forced me to snap off another molar. Mother of God, do these people ever listen to themselves? ” by the daw aw aw n’s earrrrrly li yi yi yi ght”. Holy crapoli, sounds li yi yi ke a bat fly yi yi ing into a fi yi yi re. This song has been massacred.
My grandniece sings it at sports events, and does a bang-up job without yodeling. Now if I could just get her to sing perilous rather than perolous, (she’s picked that up while listening to her favorite girly girls) she’d be just perfect.
Please, don’t try to improve everything, you big brained inventive thinkers. There are things that don’t need tinkering with. Remember, if it ain’t broke……
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