There is not a “one and only rule book” that everyone subscribes to on whether a behavior is rude or not. Just ask different people from different generations or even genders and you will get several different answers and outlooks. Here are a couple of items to consider when you have an encounter with rude people:
Make sure you don’t exasperate the problem:
I have recently noticed a phenomenon that is happening in public places, traffic, parties, etc. It is the “I am right people” wanting to correct the “you must be wrong” sector of our society. The best solution in a “once only encounter” and only “once bitten” is to leave it be; let it go; let this person get out of your hemisphere without any lesson” from you. The reason for this is simple; if this really is the only rude encounter you will ever have with this person, why expend any of your precious energy at all trying to “educate them” on what actions get’s to you or what is pushing your personal buttons? They don’t care, they don’t know, nor do they care to know you, if they go on to be rude to other people waiting in line or in traffic or in the service industry, etc.; that is “their karma” they will reap what they sow, so to speak. I see people everyday wanting to constantly “educate” someone else on etiquette and manners and consideration and truly I feel that these people never see the rudeness of their own behavior on wanting to “have one world order” of how to enter and exit a building, or how to behave while waiting in line, or at a party or anywhere we gather in public.
If it is someone that you are in a close relationship with, of course you do not have to suffer in silence at someone else’s inconsiderateness day after day. If this person is a coworker or significant other, you need to try and have a calm conversation with them and let them know how you feel about their actions. In a lot of cases this will take care of the problem because sometimes people don’t even realize they are being rude. In other cases it is more complicated and an honest upfront discussion will not fix the problem behavior because the person has some personal reasoning as to keep up their rude behavior. Then you need to delve more into bullying tactics and harassment than rude behavior because once you have communicated your case clearly and have said the behavior is bothering you, the ball is in the rude person’s court to either help your relationship get along or keep the rude behavior above and beyond your relationship.
Sometimes people are rude and don’t even realize it until later, I myself have made that mistake especially when in a hurry or under stress; and then later I will check myself and think “wow, I sure was rude today!” without even meaning to be. So, after you count to 10, then think about how much this rude encounter will impact you 1 year from now.