A select few have embarked on the quest to retrieve what Holiday experts call “Omega Tree.” It’s said that Omega Free found only within a five mile radius of Star Bucks, and only appears Monday after House.Those people are only trying to throw you off the trail.As a man who’s actually seen Omega Tree once, I feel compelled to share my knowledge in helping you find it as well.
First of all, Artificial trees are booty. There’s just no other way to say it. If you want to just give up and go for a fake Christmas tree instead of hunting for the illusive Omega Tree, I don’t judge you. Not everyone has the heart or will power to hunt down greatness. Those fake trees are low maintenance. I can definitely see the appeal in them.
If you are man enough to provide your kids with a truly memorable experience when they wake up December 25th, scamper into the den, and tare wrapping paper to shreds to see their gifts, please do them a favor by continuing on with this article. Everyone else who just wants to phone it in for the holiday, go away.
The best advice I can give would be to avoid sales people at all costs. They are only in it to make a sale. Nothing more, nothing less. They could care less about the happiness of your family. They just want to unload lack luster product that looks half way decent outside. When you drag it in the house, and put lights on it, you begin you realize you’ve been had.
Oh yeah, this tree is great! It’s just big enough to satisfy everyone’s needs. It’s lush, plush, gush, and other words that rhyme with mush. They’d like you to believe that you’d be doing your family a disservice by going into the woods to find the mythical Omega Tree, instead of emptying your wallet on the over abundant hobo pine. Just walk away with your dignity in tact, and all will be fine.
It’s important to realize the nature of nature. Christmas is a special time of year. Most people tend to swallow their foolish pride, and show happiness leading up to the end of the year. It’s grand!. The Omega Tree can only be found after the5 day of Chanukka.
In other words: Start your hunt this year on December 15th. Tracking down the greatest tree of all time is not the same as tracking down an animal or another person. Stealth is futile. It’s just a free. , so it probably won’t run away if it sees you coming. Setting traps would be only serve to deter other Omega seekers from stealing your eventual prize.
The more exhausted you are, the better your chances at finding the worlds best holiday themed conversation piece. Don’t give up.You’ll know you’re near Omega Tree when you begin to hear songs, from the Space Jam Soundtrack, ringing in your ear. To preserve it’s greatness, chop the base of Omega tree with a newly sharpened hand axe. Using a Saw will only make this moment less legendary when it comes time to boast about your quest at a latter date.