Every relationship has its fair share of problems, as a result arguments will occur. Below are some steps you can take that will help you fight fair with your spouse so that the relationship will win. Remember that when in an argument with your spouse, the relationship can only win or lose and not the individuals.
Wait it out – If you find that you are very upset about something, take a few minutes to reign in your emotions before starting the discussion. Many times taking the time to calm down can help you avoid arguments all together.
Keep your voice down – Yelling at your spouse can be insulting and intimidating. Remember to keep your voice at a conversational level and only constructively point out your spouses’ tone of voice. Asking them to lower them to lower their tone of voice by yelling at them is not constructive.
Insults not allowed – Arguments can get heated and aggressive. It is therefore very important to not intentionally insult your spouse in order to simply “win” the argument. If for instance you are discussing the amount of money that is spent shopping for shoes, that would not be the appropriate time to bring up the fact that you can not stand your spouses’ smoking habit!
Stay focused – The prior tip pretty much goes along with keeping on topic. If someone is upset about the dishes not being washed, don’t bring up the car not having gas! Stay on topic with the current issue and remember that not all problems are related and can be addressed at one time.
Don’t sweat the small stuff – Do you find your spouse to be perfect if it weren’t for their loud chewing? Some things we need to learn to accept as a part of our loved ones habits that we will not be able to change and is not worth the argument. You will find that if you give them a break every now and again, they will return the favor.
Get over it – Eventually after an argument, you are going to have to put it behind you. Move on with your life. Try not to go to bed upset and avoid holding grudges. If you don’t you will find yourself unnecessarily having the same argument over and over again with your spouse when this can easily be avoided.
Conflict is often a part of good marriage demise and it can easily be avoided if we just take a little extra time to work on the most challenging times of communication. Following these simple steps are a few ways to help you argue fairly in your own marriage to help you and your spouse remain happy.
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