A lot of things can be lost in the process of divorce and not all of them are material things. Going through a divorce can be both emotionally and psychologically draining, in many ways. Self-esteem is one of those things that seems to get dragged down during the process of divorce. You may feel like a failure, feel like you can’t make it on your own or you may have even been insulted for so long that you find it difficult to look at yourself in a positive light. On the other hand, you may find that your self-esteem is getting a boost after your divorce and that you are now seeing yourself in a better light. Whatever the case may be, divorce almost always has an effect on a person’s self-esteem.
Messy divorces tend to start off well before divorce is even discussed. This means that couples may be experiencing a level of dislike for one another, which may be reflected in the way that they treat each other, for months or even years before they split up. If this is the case, then it is difficult to have good self-esteem when you are constantly being told what is wrong with you (or is perceived to be wrong with you by your spouse). Even after a divorce, it is hard to forget the things that were said and how it made you feel about yourself. In this scenario it is important to start building a better self-image of yourself as soon as you are free from the negativity.
Divorce is often coupled with a sense of failure. Many people go into marriage thinking that it is going to last forever and that their spouse will stay with them through everything, “until death do you part.” When things don’t turn out quite as you expected, it may be difficult to shake the feeling that there may have been something you could have done to save your marriage or that it failed because of something you did. This can certainly be a blow to your self-esteem. You may even feel like you will never have a successful relationship. Unfortunately, the only way to regain your self-esteem is to fight through your feelings of inadequacy and prove to yourself that just because you may have a failed marriage under your belt, doesn’t mean that you can’t have a successful one in the future.
The best thing that divorce can do for your self-esteem is to give it a boost. Sometimes a bad marriage can make a person feel like they can’t make it on their own. This is often because of things that a cruel spouse might choose to say. Fortunately, most people can make it on their own, financially and emotionally. When a person gets out of a bad relationship and finds personal success, on any level, that can cause a huge boost of self-confidence and be a balm for damaged self-esteem.
We know that divorce often has an effect on self-esteem, what is important is attempting to reverse that effect, if it is a negative one. A failed marriage is a hard thing to work past, but loads of people do it every day, so we know that it is possible. It is even possible to have a better life now that your marriage is over. There is nothing better for a divorced person’s self-esteem than discovering that there is life past divorce and that it has the potential to be fantastic.