After we had been in our house for a few years, the hubby and I decided we might like to build a small deck on the back. At the time, there was a very small porch. Well, it was really more of a stoop. We talked about how nice it would be to sit out in the afternoon shade watching our children playing in the yard. All the while we’d sip on a glass of iced tea and ooh and ahh over our storybook lives. Just goes to show how we can delude ourselves sometimes.
The first clue I should have had was that the hubby and I have never been able to do any project without a source of tension. I think it mainly stems from our individually thinking we’re both the boss. Since I really know much less about construction than he does, I figured I would go in with the attitude that I would be completely cooperative and do everything he instructed. I should have known that would never happen.
The first step was to remove the old porch so the deck could be attached to house. The hubby took a crowbar and started prying the boards attached. Slowly, the section holding the porch gave way, and with a mighty tug, the small porch came loose.
What we didn’t know was that a huge wasp nest was attached underneath one of the boards. I learned a valuable lesson about wildlife that day that I will share with you. Wasps don’t care for having their home disturbed because they came swarming out of there with vengeance in their eyes. I could tell because I was face to face with an army of them. It was at this point that I took off running across the yard, while my disgusted husband grumbled, “Where you going? It’s just a few wasps.”
I wasn’t in the least worried about answering him because these huge red creatures were chasing me all over the yard. I was screaming back at him, “Get them off me! Get them off me!” He finally took off the cap he was wearing and knocked a few of the horrible hornets away from me. Finally, breaking ranks, the wasps scattered and flew away.
“Now, come on back and let’s move this porch out of the way.” The rest of the afternoon progressed as I had assumed with my handing him this tool and fetching him that tool.
It wasn’t long until everything was looking pretty good with the basic foundation boards taking the shape of a real deck. I was feeling pretty cocky thinking to myself that other than the wasps incident, maybe we’d make it through this project unscathed.
The hubby placed me on the southeast corner of the framework and said, “Here, hold this in place while I make sure this will be level.”
“Hold this in place? This thing must weigh a ton. I can’t hold it up.” How in the world could this normally rational man expect me to hold up this up? He might as well have said pick up the side of the car.
“The posts are carrying the weight. You just have to keep it from slipping down on this end. Jeeze!”
Oh, well, that’s all, huh. So I propped myself up mumbling to myself, “I don’t know why I even thought about this. Probably won’t be able to move for a week, even if I can get out of bed.”
“Keep it level,” he said, giving me that look that said he probably was wondering why we started this, too. “Yeah, that’s good. You can let go now,” he said.
Finally, after a long day toiling in the hot sun, because I soon discovered the sun pretty much shines on that side of the house until it goes down for the night, the deck was finished. I had to admit it would make a nice addition for some of those cool summer nights if we could come up with a way to keep the mosquitoes away. After we placed some patio furniture on it, I plopped down in the recliner and thought, after this day, it is nice to have a nice cool place to relax.
That thought didn’t last long, though, because as the hubby and I sat there, he casually looked over at me and said, “What’s for supper?”
Giving him a glare that would burn a hole in a normal man, I got up from the chair and said, “I don’t know, but wherever you go, bring home two of them.” Shaking my head in disbelief, I went into the house. Men! Can’t live with them and can’t feed them to the wolves.