I recently was reading I Want_to_be_the_Next_American_Idol Judge by Bloggerpoet79, and as much as I like my Writer’s Block buddy, I have to say sorry, Blogger, but I think I should be the next judge to replace Simon Cowell on “American Idol.” I mean, I think Blogger would be a good judge, but he’s just so nice. I mean, if you read his poetry, you can see what a kind heart and spirit he has, whereas I, on the other hand can be ruthless if needed. And let’s face it, “American Idol” needs a little ruthless.
Although I have a little musical background, I have an ace in the hole, because I’m going to let Aunt Lottie voice her opinion on a regular basis on the contestants. And how can that not help those young songbirds master their craft?
Blogger says he’ll tell those without talent flat out that it’s time to hit to the road, Jack, and I don’t doubt that he will. Sometimes, though, I think you need to tell them to not only hit the road, but you might want to start thinking about filling potholes for a living. I’ve seen some of those auditions, and whoever’s filling their head with the idea they can sing should be charged with endangerment.
Blogger also makes the point that he will suggest songs that will showcase the contestant in his or her best light. Well, that’s no fun. I think each contestant should be told to sing something that is totally out of their element. After all, that’s where true talent shines through. I mean, why should I give anyone an advantage over anyone else?
I do agree with Blogger when he says that each person has to be judged on marketability as well as talent. That is an important point because it’s often hard to market somebody completely out of the mold. But a little creativity sometimes can be a good thing. I’ve heard a lot of people still talking more about some of the more offbeat characters on the show than I have some of the people who actually placed in the top two spots. Remember Norman from last year?
Besides being paid an exorbitant amount of money for doing very little, to me the best thing about being an “American Idol” judge would be getting to travel around all around the country and sitting in a position to criticize others. How great is that! That would be right up there with some of those looney so called news commentators.
So, Blogger, as much as I wish you well in your lifetime endeavors, I just want you to know that I’ll be competing with you for that job. I have my tee-shirts and jeans ready for my audition, and I’ve been practicing my snarls in the mirror. I’ve almost got Simon’s down pat. And as soon as Aunt Lottie gets me that phone number for her contact, I’ll be sending in my resume.