Last year saw many wacky, weird and simply outrageous tales like a drug dealer reporting his illegal drugs were stolen. Do not forget about the girl who texted her Dad about her first sexual encounter, by mistake. As weird and outrageous as these stories were (and still are) I think this year has tipped the scales with the wackiness.
January 2009 – Very Superstitious…
Dom’s Weird News Blog reported on January 28, 2009 of a young Indian girl marrying a stray dog. This was done out of the belief of Munda Dhanda eastern Jharkhand that the marriage will “overcome any curse that might fall on the family”, according to Dom’s Weird News. This marriage does not tie the young girl down. She will be free to marry later when she gets older without having to divorce or get an annulment from the pooch.
February 2009 – Wisconsin kids better not text in class and lie about it or you may get arrested
This is a weird and gross misuse of power by the Wauwatosa Police Department. A 14 year old female student of Wauwatosa East High was arrested on February 11, 2009 and charged with disorderly conduct. Did the teen get caught fighting or harass another student or even bring weapon to school? No. The teen was caught texting during math class and refused to give up her cell phone. The police, without a parent present. Had the teen take off her sweat shirt to search for the cell phone and later female office did a more personal search and confiscated the cell phone from the teen’s “buttocks area”, according to the incident report filled by Officer Jeffrey Griffin.
The police found that the cell phone belonged to the teen’s father and that he was the one she was texting in class. She was release into her mother’s custody on $298 bail. The teenager was also suspended from school with a court date in April. – Courtesy of The Smoking Gun
March 2009 – Car Thief Arrested After Calling 911 to Brag
This man is surely in the running for the dumb criminal of the year award. That’s Weird News picked up a story from the Associated Press about a Minnesota man repeatedly calling 911 to brag and taunt the Duluth Police that they could not catch him. The police did catch him after someone else called 911 to report a prowler in their home. The suspect was found hiding in a shed. Looks like he lost all bragging rights now…
April 2009 – Someone Stole Your Ride? Tell the Cops Your Kid Was On It When it Was Stolen.
Well that is what Shawn Christopher Ivory did when he wanted the police to find his most treasured motorcycle. Ivory told Alachua County, FL deputies that he was beat up and the thieves took his bike and child. A large manhunt for the child ensued only for police to find the child was safe at home with his mother! – Courtesy of FloriDuh
May 2009 – The Dominican Republic Allows Parents to Give their Offspring Stupid Names Just Like U.S. Parents
MSNBC picked up this news report from the Associated Press. The Dominican Republic rejected a proposal to ban any name that prevents the gender from being determined. Now parents can breathe a sigh of relief and continue to name their children Tonton (Dummy) Ruiz, Querida Pina (Dear Pineapple), Seno (Breast) Jimenez and Toshiba Fidelina. Pretty soon countries will begin claiming bragging rights on who has the silliest names for their children. Hey when you think about it, it’s not that far-fetched.
June 2009 – Practice What You Preach. (Or At Least What You Are Supposed to be Preaching)
This tale comes from the News-Sentinel. On June 4, 2009 Fort Wayne, IN Police set up a sting operation to catch the Reverend Curtis White II of the Divine Faith Baptist Church selling crack cocaine. While the Rev. Curtis was supposed to teach his congregation to present their body as a living sacrifice to God, holy and acceptable he was polluting some members by selling them crack. When White was arrested the police found 6.6 grams of crack in his hotel room and another 6.5 grams inside his the crack of his butt. Not exactly a weird tale but wacky to think of a reverend selling crack from his crack.
July 2009 – The Things Canadian Doctors Have to Put Up With
Chuck Shepherd strikes again with a story that first appeared in the July issue of the Canadian Journal of Neurology, three doctors describe a most interesting emergency room patient. A 57-year old man had a pen stuck in his urethra. Don’t worry this was no mere accident the man meant to push the pen way in there thinking he would get some type of pleasure from it. When the pain did not turn into pleasure, he pushed the pen in all the way with the false belief that it would exit his rectum.
August 2009 – Sometimes the Truth Does Not Set You Free
Chuck Shepherd’s News of the Weird posted an August 12, 2009 story from the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation about two boys suspected of harassing a moose so bad that it had to be put down. The boys father came to their rescue however and vouched that they kids were nowhere near the poor during the suspected time. His reason: the boys were vandalizing a nearby church. Way to go Dad! Maybe that old saying is true, that what’s done in the dark comes to the light.
September 2009 – City Owned Hanging Baskets are Great for Growing Marijuana
NJ.com reported on September 9, 2009 that a street in Millville, New Jersey had a city-owned hanging basket that was… well… growing pot. Police pulled two cannabis plants from the basket after receiving a report that the drug was growing free inside of it. To add more hilarity to the city-owned Mary Jane, the cannabis was growing on High Street. If this happens again Millville you will officially be known as City High and your city snack will be Munchies.
October 2009 – Apparently October was World Nudity Month
Buck’s Weird News Blog recanted the tale which first appeared in the Sheboygan Press (no longer available) about one Julia E. Laack who decided to strip naked to beat an arrest. Marge Simpson’s naked toon bod graced the cover of Playboy magazine. Finally, a minibus of male streakers entered a Texaco at Kilmington, near Honiton Devon as reported by the British online news site, the Telegraph. These young men may find themselves in hot water because they were in violation of Britiain’s Sexual Offense Act of 2003.
November 2009 – Crazy Canadian Law to Make Picking Your Nose While Driving Illegal
No this is a true headline from PressReleasePoint.com. According to this wacky story Canadian minister of Transportation, Jim Bradley wants to extend the “distracted driving law” a step further to include nose picking while driving as an offense. So our neighbors up north better watch out, and pull off to the side of the road before they begin digging gold. That little nugget could cost you an $850 fine if Jim Bradley gets his way. So stop picking them boogars!
December 2009 – Jesus Christ Dumped From Jury Pool
What? You read it correctly. Jesus Christ can no longer serve jury in Birmingham, Alabama. You would think the Bible Belt would have more respect. Don’t worry Jesus the Christ was not dumped, but female named Jesus Christ, formerly known as Dorothy Lola Killingworth, was dumped. The Associated Press reported this story on December 1, 2009 and were unable to find Jesus. Hmmm… Maybe they didn’t knock?
These are just 12 of the wacky, weird and sometimes outrageous stories reported on the web in 2009. There are plenty more stories from around the world that may even be wackier and weirder, so search the net and be amazed. Have a laugh, shake your head, snort, or scream at the wacky and outrageous things people do. Have a happy New Year!
